Combine Dry Ingredients: In a medium-sized saucepan, add the hemp hearts, chia seeds, ground flaxseed meal, coconut flour, and unsweetened shredded coconut. Stir these dry ingredients together well.
Add Liquid & Sweetener, Then Heat: Pour in your chosen milk (full-fat coconut milk for creaminess or almond milk for a lighter version) and add the granulated sweetener. Whisk everything together until well combined. Place the saucepan over medium heat.
Cook Until Thickened: Bring the mixture to a gentle simmer, stirring frequently to prevent any sticking at the bottom of the pan, especially as the porridge begins to thicken. Continue to cook for about 5-7 minutes, or until it reaches your desired hot and creamy consistency. The chia and flax seeds will absorb the liquid, naturally thickening the porridge.
Stir in Aromatics: Once the porridge is heated through and thickened to your liking, remove the saucepan from the heat. Immediately stir in the vanilla extract, ground cinnamon, ground ginger, ground nutmeg, and the pinch of salt (if using). Mix thoroughly to ensure the spices are evenly distributed.
Serve and Garnish: Ladle the warm "no-oats" oatmeal into bowls. Customize your serving with your favorite low-carb toppings, such as a handful of fresh berries, a spoonful of nut butter, or a sprinkle of crunchy nuts and seeds. Enjoy immediately.